FORgiveNESS

Forgiveness means to FORget the wrong and GIVE your heart to God to mend it.

A few years ago, a 'friend' really hurt me. She was someone I was not close to but just had a habit of 'paving' the way for me.  At first, I found it childish that she would say things about me that were not true and would read several meanings to my actions or words.

At first I thought she would stop, but she didn't. Because I was not a talker, I was waiting to see Karma catch up with her; but Karma never did.

When my other relationships began to get sour based on this assassination of character, I just internalized the hurt and tainted my perspective of everyone; everyone was sent to hurt me. Next, I isolated myself and drowned in my pain . I was hurt because my actions were constantly misconceived and it seemed no one  gave me  a chance to show them who I was. I let hurt cloud my judgement and reasoning.

I have experienced a lot of identity crisis in the past trying to be what others expected me to be; it was such an emotional roller coaster that I eventually gave up- hardened and couldn't care less what others thought .

Why am I saying this now? I have faced rejection and experienced bottom line (lower than low) self esteem. I have also seen God heal my heart overtime and make me proud of what beauty I have left within me. I have risen, I can now love but this only happened because I decided to first give love to this person who hurt me deeply. I didn't have a choice as I was constantly punished because I had to see her ever so often as our path would cross. Then I began to ask God to help me pray for her even though the prayers were one liners. 
Gradually, the rage that had built up within me began to seethe and I began to break and cried out to God to heal me.

 It took a looonng time but at last I was able to put my past behind and focus on the ladies God put around me to be a blessing to.

YOU can also let go of the past pain so others don't suffer the consequences of one unfortunate friend or lover. When you are hurting, you can't see past your pain and cannot really make any form of tangible progress.

Forget the past and give your love to those around. You can never trust and live again unless you have forgiven the offender and given your heart to God to heal.

I have seen God transform my ashes to beauty and He can do the same for you- 



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